Toddler Days
by plantlight
Summary: Some how, Ron managed to revert Harry and Hermione into themselves as toddlers. Thats going to be interesting...
1. Chapter 1

A/n: this is the most random thing I have ever written

**A/n: this is the most random thing I have ever written! A few friends helped my edit the first couple of chapters, but after that, I will have to apologize for the errors.**

**Note: a was Mozzarella on HPFF but I'm an idiot and forgot my password and which email I used which didn't help so I moved here!!**

Ron was in the Gryffindor common room in his dinosaur PJs feeling sick. He was singing a song about Ginny wearing a tutu in a muggle ballet. Suddenly he heard a crash from the back of the room. Terrified, he grabbed his wand and turned around. Standing there was Harry and Hermione looking as if they were not sure whether to laugh or scream at Ron's grotesque song.

As he was turning a shade of bright red, he stuttered, "You should not be in here!! And he pointed his wand and continued jokingly, "You, niffler!!

"What?" Harry and Hermione shouted simultaneously.

Ron started to mutter under his breath when his wand released a charm.

Harry sat down on the floor and started to throw a tantrum about his cat Fluffy (which really confused Ron because Harry didn't have a cat)

Hermione got angry with Harry, turned around and said, "If you don't shut up, I'll break your stupid leg!"

Ron finally decided to get a teacher after 20 minutes of this insanity. As he was leaving, he saw Hermione rip of the head off a teddy bear and she started laughing manically. At this, his face went pale and he ran to Professor Snape's office (which was the only thing he could think of in his predicament.)

He told Professor Snape about Harry and Hermione's dilemma. They returned to find that Harry was pretending to be an airplane and Hermione was singing _Hey Diddle Diddle_. (**A/N: lyrics below for all you nursery rhyme sheltered people) **Professor looked at them smiled and told Ron that they are under a charm that makes them act like themselves as toddlers.

"I feel _really, really_ bad for Hermione's parents, she's a demon!!" Ron muttered quickly.

"Now I am guessing you will not have children, ending the chain of never ending Weasley's," Snape said smirking.

Professor Snape turned and started to leave the common room when Ron screamed, "Don't leave me with them she might to the same thing to me as she did to the teddy bear!"

"Why would she do that…did you make her angry?" Snape asked sarcastically.

"I…I don't think so…," Ron said, "Hey! I asked nicely!"

Professor Snape replied, "Mr. Weasley, do not get hysterical; the charm will wear off eventually. Until then, you are on your own."

"EVENTUALLY!! EVENTUALLY!! What do you mean by that!"

"Mr. Weasley, you are becoming hysterical," Snape said calmly.

"Well, you would be too if you turned your two best friends into toddlers!!"

"Mr. Weasley your friends are not toddlers they merely have the minds of toddlers."

"Big difference!" Ron shouted as Snape left the room and Ginny entered.

It took a little time for Ron to explain to Ginny why Harry and Hermione were acting so strangely and to beg for her help.

Her first comment was, "You were singing a song about me in a ballet? And I thought Fred and George were the weird ones in the family."

After more begging by Ron she finally agreed to help.

"Good", Ron replied, "You watch Hermione and I'll watch Harry." Ginny led Hermione up to the girls' dormitory.

It was less than 2 minutes when Dobby came down to the common room. He stopped in front of Ron and stated, "Dobby is dreadfully, terribly, awfully sorry master, she wanted eggs so Dobby gave her some."

"What?" Ron replied stupidly.

Ginny's scream was heard from the girls' dormitory along with Hermione's laughter.

"Oh… That's what you mean," Ron said as he tried to run to the girls' dormitory. As he tried to use the stairs, the stairs came out from under and he fell backwards.

Ron quickly and loudly screamed, (to drown out Dobby's laughter)" Hermione, you and Ginny get down here, NOW!" Then he gave Dobby a narrowed stare.

"Dobby did not mean to laugh, Master Weasley, but Dobby just did" Dobby snickered.

Hermione came down the stairs, levitating Ginny, whose robes were in shreds. Hermione was pelting the eggs at her.

"Drop the eggs and let Ginny down," Ron commanded Hermione. Hermione shook her head in defiance.

"Merlin, what did I get myself into!" Ginny cried from her position by the chandelier.

"Stop right now, Hermione!"

Snickering Hermione answered, "Alright" as she let Ginny down, she dropped her on top of Ron. After this she was laughing so hard it looked as if Hermione was foaming at the mouth.

"I think she is the most evil being the world has ever seen," Ron muttered under his breath.

"I'm not helping any more!" Ginny screamed at Ron.

"I wouldn't either after that, or at all even but, I don't exactly have a choice" Ron replied angrily.

"Tell some one who cares about your life story!" Ginny screamed back.

"Hey, I'm your brother, remember!!" Ron reminded Ginny.

"SO!" Ginny screamed leaving the room, "I didn't pick you! I'd rather have another Percy!!" **(A/N: what a low blow ginny!!)**

After lunch Harry decided to run around with the Ketchup bottle squirting anyone anywhere near him. Dobby kept apologizing to Ron about the eggs and Hermione kept poking Ron with her spork while laughing unnaturally loud.

**There's chapter one!**

**I hope you enjoyed it! I already have Chapters 1-7 done so I'll upload them ASAP if you're even interested. **

**Hey Diddle Diddle; **

**The Cat and the Fiddle;**

**The cow jumped over the moon;**

**The little dog laughed to see such a sight;**

**And the Dish ran away with the spoon;**


	2. Chapter 2

When Harry woke up he wanted to: play with the snitch, jump rope, sing Christmas carols, dance the polka, (don't know where that one came from) all to which Ron said NO

When Harry woke up he wanted to: play with the snitch, jump rope, sing Christmas carols, dance the polka, (don't know where that one came from) all to which Ron said NO.

"But," said Ron," you can go outside"

"Really, Ronny?" Harry asked.

"Really" Ron replied with a slight wince at the nickname, "Harry, please call me Ron"

"Alright, Lets go now" Harry replied quickly.

Ron replied, "Wait until Hermione wakes up."

So, Harry proceeded to shake Hermione until she woke up. When she did she punched Harry in the face, giving him a bloody nose.

"Hermione, that wasn't very nice!!" Ron stated, "Do you want to go outside with Harry?"

"Call me HERMY" (she spelled it for Ron), "And not without a cookie."

"No Cookie… Hermy" Ron said, terrified of what might happen if she had one.

"I WANT A COOKIE" she stated firmly.

"No Cookie"

"Yes"

"No"

(This continued until Harry threw another tantrum involving avocados and turkey stuffing)

As they went outside Hermione ran to the lake and started making mud pies in the lake and Harry started to run to the whomping willow.

Ron quickly ran after him and when he caught Harry he asked, "Were you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I just wanted to climb it," Harry sniffed as he stuck out his bottom lip.

Ron almost died laughing, "Climb… the whomping …willow!!"

Harry nodded confused, "Don't laugh at me! That's not nice to do, Dr. Phil said so!"

I wasn't laughing at you. Harry, I was laughing at you trying to climb the whomping willow," Ron confirmed.

"Oh… Why?" Harry asked confused.

"The whomping willow kills people by… you know… whomping them"

"Can we try it on Hermione?" Harry asked.

"I'm afraid not, Harry," Ron replied smiling.

He felt so strange hearing Harry talk bad about Hermione like he did in their first year, but he couldn't help but agree.

As the 3 of them went inside, they saw Dobby and Ron recruited his help. Dobby was more than willing, he still felt bad about the egg thing.

The second they were in the common room Hermione found a Bludger bat and was chasing poor Dobby around with it. Ron was trying to wrestle Harry to the ground to make him stop destroying his fireboat by hitting it on the ground in an attempt to kill the ants.

Dobby was screaming, "MASTER, HOW HAS DOBBY ANGERED YOU?" as Hermione was standing over him holding the bat on the side of his head and it looked like she was trying to do a golf swing.

Hermione just stood there laughing at him until Ron took the bat from her. She pulled the fork out from lunch and tried to stab Ron with it.

"STOP THIS INSANITY AT ONE BEFORE I EXPELL ALL OF YOU AND SENT DOBBY BACK TO THE MALFOYS!!" shouted Professor McGonagall as she entered the room.


	3. Chapter 3

As Ron tried to think of an explanation for this madness, Hermione started to do a dance

As Ron tried to think of an explanation for this madness, Hermione started to do a dance.

"100 points for Griffindor" Professor McGonagall stated.

"Why, Professor?" Ron asked.

"Look at Miss Granger's dance; it's so majestic, so graceful, so original"

Ron turned around and was terrified by the dance. Hermione was doing, backbends, cartwheels, and some turn in various patterns.

'Is she kidding?' Ron thought.

Professor started to try to dance along. Ron ran screaming to find Harry.

Ron found Harry in front of Nearly Headless Nick harassing him by asking personal questions. Nearly Headless Nick looked flustered as Harry asked, "Do you feel dead?"

"No, No, why do you ask?" Nick answered.

"How did you die and where is your body?" Harry asked smiling.

"I don't know, can you go away, please I need to… take a shower."

"Ghosts don't take showers do they?"

This is when Ron intervened, "Yes ghosts are very hygienic, it is an unknown fact about them."

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Ron said as he heard Nick whisper into his ear, "I owe you more than you will even know."

Harry started to sing about his cat. (Ron still didn't know what he is talking about)

They entered the room to find that Professor McGonagall had left for her next class. Ron took them outside again hoping Harry would not to try to lure Hermione to the whomping willow.

Hermione and Harry ran to the Lake and started to throw mud pies at each other. Hagrid looked over and saw this, came over to Ron and asked "What the Blimey are those two doin'?"

Ron told him the story and when it got to the part about McGonagall, he started laughing, that doesn't sound like Minerva at all but I'll take your word for it."

"It's true!" Ron almost shouted in Hagrid's face.

"Crickey Ron, I told yeh I'd take yer word for it!" Hagrid said loudly trying to be heard over Ron's cries of protest.

"Sorry"

"That's fine just don' go all crazy un me" Hagrid said.

"Well I didn't think you would believe me."

"Not believe you? Not believe you!! I would believe anythin' about what was makin' those two start actin' all younger…ish. Except the sea-monkeys brainwashed them."(This is what Ron said why Dumbledore made Percy a perfect)

"Darn!!"

"Don' forget that's what yeh told me when Dumbledore made Percy a perfect. I ran in trying to find those darned sea-monkeys!! Dumbledore thought I went bonkers!" Hagrid chuckled.

Both of them started laughing really hard until Hagrid face went pale. "What's the matter Hagrid?" Ron asked.

"Yeh don't think they will be stuck like this do yeh?"

Suddenly this thought hit Ron, "I hope not."

"So do I, So do I"

"But Professor Snape told me it would wear off," Ron protested.

"What if he was just trying to make yeh feel better?"

"Don't worry he hates me, He wouldn't… would he?"

"As yeh said before, I hope not."

They both turned to see Harry and Hermione throwing mud at each other.

"At least they seem happy" Hagrid said

"Yep, they do" Ron replied.

As Ron took Harry and Hermione inside Hagrid murmured hopefully, "I need to tell Professor Dumbledore about this one, he sure will get a kick out of it, and maybe he can fix it"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: don't ask please**

Hermione decided she wanted to get some things at Diagon Alley. So Ron, Harry and Hermione went to get a teachers permission to go. As they were walking, the group ran into Professor McGonagall. She quickly signed it and they went on their way.

"That was surprisingly easy compared to her actions normally," Ron stated.

"Why?" asked Harry.

"Usually she is very strict about the rules," Ron replied.

"Why?" Harry asked again.

"Because she just always has been."

"Why?" Harry asked for the third time.

"Maybe her parents were like that," Ron answered unsurely.

"Why?" Harry asked for the fourth time.

"Because they were," Ron said growing agitated.

"Why?" Harry asked for the fifth time.

"I don't know," Ron said.

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I AM STUPID, HARRY IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR!!" Ron screamed at Harry.

"No" Harry managed to say before he started to cry.

"Oh… Harry, you just made me mad," Ron said sadly.

"Do you forgive me?" Ron asked Harry.

"Say sorry," Harry commanded.

"I'm sorry Harry."

"For what?" Harry reminded him.

"For yelling at you." Ron confirmed as the three entered Diagon Alley. On every poster in the area it said in flashing green words:

Be Happy before your doom

"Wow, that's weird," Ron chuckled.

Harry started to whimper. "What's the matter, Harry?" Ron asked concerned.

"My head hurts right here," Harry said as he pointed to his scar.

"That's understandable" Ron muttered.

As they walked by a group of Death Eaters wearing cloaks, they started withering and fell to the ground. "It is the boy that lived!!" they hissed pointing at Harry.

"Of Course I'm alive, do I look dead to you?" Harry asked shouting down towards them.

"AAAAHHH!!" they hissed as Harry bent down, "Do not get any nearer or else."

"Or else what," Harry challenged, "Unless it has to do with birds, they're creepy, I'm not scared."

"He, He, He, The boy who lived fears birds, Master will be pleased," they cackled as they walked away.

"You don't like birds?" Ron asked thinking of Hedwig.

"No, I like them, I just told them that so those creepy people would go away," Harry said.

Ron couldn't help but smile at the younger Harry's resourcefulness.

As they go in they find Dobby waiting for them in the common room.

Ron and Dobby soon find out that it is impossible to put 'toddlers' to bed without begging and screaming.

"You are such a Nerd, (spells it for Harry) Nerd! You have glasses!! You have a weird scar!! You have green eyes!!" Hermione says laughing.

"Well… Well… you … have," Harry says thinking of a come-back, "Big hair," he concludes quickly.

As Hermione's eyes start to water she sees the bludger bat. She turns around and hits Harry in the side of the head with it.

"OooooWwwwwEeeee" Harry says as his eyes roll back in his head and his body fell to the floor.

Dobby, so angered by this action first hits Hermione with the bat, then realizes what he has done and hits himself with the bat about 17 times until he was quite dizzy.

Finally, this madness ended and Ron fell asleep.

Ron's dream was a weird one. First, he met up with Harry the Clown at a child's birthday party Ron fell into in the dream. Second, Ron met Frankenstein Hermione who was singing a song about Harry's smelly cat. (Ron still can't figure this out)

And the song went like this: Harry's Smelly Cat, Harry's Smelly Cat

Oh, what are they feeding you!!

She was being run out of town because the people that heard her had turned deaf and were all found coloring their hair with an assortment of crayons.

Then, the found the genie version of Lupin in a cardboard box inside of a well. When they got him out who said, "You have three wishes. The last idiot spent his unwishing he was a giant squid. It didn't work so; I wouldn't wish for anything or something…" he got an evil grin as he continued "might go terribly wrong."

Next, they met Ron's nightmare as another of Ron's nightmare: Snape as a spider who said, "My spidey sense is tingling."

"That is why you are potty trained!!" Harry the Clown said to Snape.

"Sorry Clowny Boy at least I don't have a big, red. Nose!" Snape snapped at him. Instantly he knew this was a mistake. Before he could apologize, Harry the Clown had tied Snape's legs into a big knot. (Ron had to hold Harry down before he caused any further damage to Snape to add to Ron's dismay)

'I wish I could let Harry kill him,' Dream Ron thought.

They met Sherlock Dumbledore on the case of his own murder, he turned to Ron and said, "Ron, you are the prime suspect for my murder so beware!! Even though I'm not dead yet I will be eventually!!"

"Alrightie Then, lets continue," Ron sighed

Then they met Rapper Neville who said, "Yo,Yo!"

"Neville I know you are forgetful but I am a CLOWN not a yo-yo."

"Dog, you are so out of it, yo." Neville stated to Harry.

"Neville I already told you I am a clown," Harry said, smoke steaming out of his ears.

"Dog, keep your cool up keep your anger down."

"I AM A CLOWN!!" Harry shouted at Neville.

"What?" Hermione asked quite confused by now.

"Fo-get it, yo," Neville said not wanting to cause more confusion.

"Sir, I do not understand your logic, may you please explain it to me?" Sherlock Dumbeldore asked.

"Sure Dog, anything for a pops" Neville stated and during the next adventure they were trying to make Dumbeldore….. more with the present time.

Then, they found Mrs. Weasley and Ginny at a lumber yard (Mrs. Weasley was a giant, talking tree and Ginny was a flying egg.) Mrs. Weasley started screaming to Ron, "Ron save me!! They will cut me down and use me for a muggle schoolbook!!"

"I'm not helping you scramble your eggs anymore, Ron Weasley if you don't help mother" Ginny yelled at Ron.

After this they went on a journey to find the flashlight of doom to kill all of the turtles and warp them into another dimension. At the end of this adventure Ron battled Victor Krum with a light saber made of sugar cane and fried niffler kidneys( it is a dream).

"I say I those rascals need part of my cranium," said Sherlock Dumbeldore.

"Close Dog, a Piece of my Mind," Neville said encouragingly.

"OH, drat," Dumbeldore said disappointed.

Ron woke up terrified after this dream


End file.
